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How to Feel Sixteen Again

8/31/2013

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  Hello my lovelies. I’ve got a few things to talk about in this blog. First of all, I am super annoyed. Why? Because I had typed up the majority of this post already and my computer closed unexpectedly (due to me letting the battery die-but that’s beside the point) and I didn’t have it, couldn’t recover it, and I hate that. I had sworn I saved it, but it is lost in cyberspace where not even the space cowboy can find it. *sigh* Oh well. I just get frustrated because I feel like the words I had before won’t come back to me in the same way. Sure I know the gist of what I want to talk about, but something’s been lost and I’m afraid it won’t come back to me as well… it won’t be as good as it was when the idea was fresh in my brain. Anyway, can’t change it now. I hope you still enjoy this post anyway.  
  Secondly I want to thank all my fellow PCOSers for their readership and support. As you know, there are some hard days when you live with this, some very hard days and when I am having one of those days, to see my huge page views and especially supportive comments makes me smile. Thank you, thank you with all my heart. I wrote the blog mostly as a release for myself and to not have to feel like I have to hide-like having PCOS was some sort of dirty little secret. The other reason I wrote it, was so other “cysters” knew they weren’t alone. We’re all in this together and I believe, as much as I hate this condition, that I have it for a reason. I believe God made me perfectly for a purpose, even if I don’t fully understand what that purpose is yet. We are strong ladies and that is because of this. So, for that reason, I wouldn’t change it. Don’t give up. I don’t want this whole blog to turn into a PCOS blog. I am more than my PCOS and I don’t intend on giving it more attention than it deserves. It doesn’t need attention-it needs help, kind of like Miley Cyrus now-a-days.
  No, I’m not going to go into a long drawn out rant about what a mess Ms. Cyrus is and how she needs help. She’s clearly seeking the attention she got from her performance at the VMAs, and she is an entertainer whose job it is to get you to think and talk about her. Love it or hate it, she did her job. Mission accomplished Miley-but this is all the attention you’re getting from me, and that’s begrudgingly. 
  What I am gonna talk about is my boys. Oh the love I still have for them deep down in my soul burned anew last Sunday night. I don’t even know where to start with my thoughts on this. First of all if you don’t know what I’m talking about then one, what planet are you living on? ‘Cause it sure isn’t earth, and two, watch this video and you’ll know what I mean.
2013 VMA - Artists.MTV - Music

Get More: 2013 VMA, Artists.MTV, Music, Justin Timberlake

 Do you see what I mean? Maybe you don’t. Unless you’ve been an ‘N Sync fan from the beginning (or even better, a fan since the Mickey Mouse Club days) I don’t know if you can ever fully know what I mean. If you haven’t been following along from the beginning then you didn’t watch with the same eyes as those of us who did. I just can’t even describe how epic it was!
  Let me start by saying that Justin Timberlake is supremely talented, talented beyond his years, talented beyond what any of us can truly comprehend. I honestly believe that no one on this planet could ever fully comprehend the depth of his talent. The fact that he makes it all look so easy up there on stage only makes it that much more amazing. He put us all under the spell of it on Sunday. It was a magic performance! (How did he get rid of that mic and then be ready in exactly the right spot to catch the next one?! And, uh, did he just walk over the crowd?! It was like a magic show!) Watch the audience, if you can manage to take your eyes off of him, and notice how they bounce in time to the beat, or follow his every instruction. Like a wizard, he had everyone screaming, or bouncing, and singing along at exactly the moment he wanted. Justin was right when he said, “I still run this b@%#!” He didn’t just run the whole show, he ran an audience of thousands in that facility (even other entertainers like Will Smith and Lady Gaga), and who knows how many of all of us at home. We were all perfectly happy to follow wherever he led too, because of the amazing talent he possesses. Talent like that isn’t earned, or learned. Yeah, pretty much anyone can learn to be on pitch when they sing, or hit the right dance moves, but talent like that doesn’t come from earthly pursuits. Talent like that comes from a higher power.  
  What was so beautiful about watching Justin’s performance that night was that you were seeing someone full of joy in living out the life they were created and destined for. Clearly Justin Timberlake was made for no other reason and he knows it and so do we. How could we not? Look at the smile on his face! Whenever anyone is living a full and complete satisfied life doing what they were meant to do, what they were created for, it makes others stand in awe and jealousy. From a garbage collector, to a teacher, to an international entertainer, I believe we are all created by God for a specific purpose in this life, but as flawed humans we rarely learn exactly what it is and then if we do, actually have the courage to pursue and live it out. That’s what Justin Timberlake is doing, that’s what makes us adore him and at last Sunday’s performance the pure radiant joy that comes from that was just exuding off of him and all the rest of us could do was get high off the vapors he left. 
  It was something that made me so happy to see. You see lately, I admit, I had begun to think that maybe Justin was getting a little… big for his britches you could say. I’m not sure how to explain it. Not that I ever thought he was a bad person, or ungrateful, just that he had reached so high a status that he had maybe lost some of his humility. It was as if he’d reached that super level of stardom where a celebrity is no longer a person really, but a commodity, a thing, a persona, not a person… like the true Justin was lost or buried under all that. I’m not sure if that fully or properly describes what I had been feeling, but it was just my own personal opinion and it doesn’t mean much because let’s face it. I don’t and never will know him personally. Yet, to see the genuine smile of gratitude and enjoyment on his face pushed all that aside. Here was Justin, the kid we all remembered from ‘N Sync’s early days who was happy. He's risen above being jaded and was just having fun. 
  Speaking of ‘N Sync, their mini reunion was full of awesomesauce. Oh yes, I said awesomesauce. First of all I love how Justin said, “We gonna show you young boys how to do it.” Cute. Second, Jayden Smith’s face as they all came onstage-priceless. All of them, especially JC and Justin, have been so adamant about not staging a reunion that, despite all the rumors, I was still pretty surprised it actually happened and the last person I thought would do so, gave us what we’d all wanted for quite a while now. Oh the glory of it! Again, if you’re not a fan, or wasn’t a fan from the early days, then you really can’t understand just how happy this made us. The beauty of it was not the performance or the songs, it was them. It was the payoff at the end for the fifteen or twenty seconds after their performance when Justin gave them all a hand shake or a high five and the looks on their faces at being together for a common purpose again. That was always the greatest thing about them as a group; they really were/are friends and really, more like brothers. This performance was reminiscent of their early days as well. This wasn’t a job, this wasn’t an obligation. This was four guys coming together for their brother to support him and having fun doing it. I’m not ashamed to say that on the inside I was sixteen again, jumping and “squeeing” like I used to. On the outside I was singing along, mimicking the old dance moves I still know by heart, and beaming from ear to ear. It was more proof that Justin hadn’t lost anything, his humility, his humanity, nothing. This was his gift to us in gratitude for being his fans for so long.
  Then, while we were all reeling from the shock and amazement, Justin just kept going! Again, if you can take your eyes off of him, look at how huge the crowd is! There were people everywhere and so many little stages that I couldn’t tell where the main stage was anymore. There were dancers on all of them as well, not just around Justin. I can’t imagine how much work went into the orchestration of all that, again I say, it was magic! Then, finally, sadly, it was over. Jimmy Fallon presented the award, saying exactly what we all felt after watching that. Justin just shook his face in disbelief and amazement that this is his life. Then, if just the performance didn’t do enough to remind me that Justin was still the hometown boy he always was, his acceptance speech sealed the deal. His love for his four brothers was still there. He expressed gratitude with grace, humility, and as he does, a bit of humor. It was perfect. It was magic. 

Get More: 2013 VMA, Artists.MTV, Music

Get More: 2013 VMA, Artists.MTV, Music

  Finally, he was awarded the moon man for video of the year for his video Mirrors. Now, I suppose someone could argue that he’s an entertainer and an actor and he knows just what to say to get a certain reaction, and I suppose that’s true, but it’s not hard to see when someone is not being genuine. Justin was genuine throughout.

Get More: 2013 VMA, Artists.MTV, Music

  I’m so happy his video for Mirrors won. Knowing that it’s a personal song for him and about his grandparents and his new wife, it really is beautiful. I have liked the song from the moment I heard it and my love for it only grows. I listen to it over and over many times in a row and still want to listen to it again and again. This is the kind of thing that should win awards and be applauded and talked about and recognized. Love. Besides, isn’t ‘Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul I can tell you there’s no place we couldn’t go, one of the greatest lines in a song ever?
  Comedian Jo Koy posted on his Facebook that night, “Remember that time when the Justin Timberlake concert was called the VMAs?” and he’s right. It was Justin’s night and we were all just onlookers. Thank you Justin for sharing your talent and just making us all happy by being able to watch, thank you for being a classy guy, and thanks for showing me how to feel sixteen
again.
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    Leslie Groeneveld, author. Yes, that's me. I hope one day to be published. I speak in movie quotes. I like to drive fast. I have an unnervingly great memory. I believe chocolate can cure anything. I know more about Disney than probably any normal person should.

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